Corndog Virgin

Just one more of the many embarrasing things I need to admit to....

So I was at my friend's house and we were getting lunch. Her kitchen wasn't stalked with much so we pretty much only had a chouce between hamburgers, corndogs, and good ol' PB&J sandwiches. I had had sandwiches the day before so I didn't really feel like having that again. And I don't eat beef so hamburgers were immediatly out of the question. Well that just left corndogs. I've seen them in countless movies, and heard plenty of references to them, but I've never figured out exactly what they are. Cleary they're some type of hot dog, but i didn't know what corn had to do with that. Well, I didn't really want to set myself up for embarrasment, but I had to ask "Um...so what's a corndog exactly?" To which my friend simply gave me an incredulous look which I responded to with a sheepish grin. She just shook her head.

"Good Lord Anna, where have you been all your life?"
"Europe."
"Well yeah, but you must have seriously missed something from your childhood if you don't know what a corndog is."
"Well...corndogs are an American thing."
*she shakes her head* "You are so sad. A corndog is just a hotdog on a stick."
"Where does the corn come in?"
"It's the breading."

Wierd. Dogs on a stick with cornbread....I must have missed something from my childhood, because I don't really get it.....but it turns out we did have them for lunch. And they're not half bad I guess.....

Little Things with a Big Difference

So this is basically just a list of little details here and there that I have gathered in the past few months. These things don't really have a funny story that go along with them, but everytime i see them, they just keep reminding me that I'm in America.

1. Yellow lines in the middle of the road
2. Straws with a larger diameter
3. Thinner paper (I can't write on the back of the paper because even pencil bleeds through)
4. 3-ring binders (I'm used to 2 and 4 ring binders)
5. Plenty of lined paper, but graph paper is practically an endangered species (In Poland it was just the opposite)
6. Different McDonald's Menus (No joke! They actually serve different stuff here)
7. Squirrels. I've never seen so many squirrels in my whole life.
8. Larger parking spaces (I can actually open my car door all the way and not touch the car parked beside me)
9. 6 lane High-ways (In Poland, three lanes was big)
10. Lots of trees, not very many fields at all, like in Poland
11. The place is much more urbanized (But that might just be because I'm living in the suburbs. but in America the suburbs extend much farther away from the city.
12. American accents on the TV, instead of British. Although I speak like an American, I notice American accents more than I do British. British just seems more natural to me...

That seems to be about it. I keep noticing new stuff everyday. When I post this, I swear I'll want to add 2 more things...

Americans Give the Best Instructions...

Long time no write. I'm such a bad blogger. Bad Anna. I doubt any of my former readers even bother anymore. But its the fault of this this evil little invention the government likes to call school. Yep. I just finished my third week of public school, and it has been even more horrible than I imagined. No wonder so many people drop out, I starting to not blame them. I'm again wondering every waking hour why, oh why did have to sign up for Honors?????????

I'll spare you all the gory details and focus on the positive, I'm still getting plenty of funny/insightful America stories, the latest of which involving some rather silly intructions on a popcorn bag and on TV.

I've noticed that on TV America has a lot of feminine commercials (I asked my parents about that, cuz i thought that was kinda wierd, and they said 10 years ago Americans would never dream of running so many ads for tampons...I guess times have changed) and I've also noticed that whenever they run ads for medicine or whatever they spend a good 20 seconds on all the risks and side affects of them after delivering thier selling line. On the British TV that was illegally broadcast to us in Poland (Shhh...don't tell the Brits), they'd always put that stuff in very fine print at the botton of the screen or just say to see your doctor...No doubt the Americans thoroughness is because of all those lawsuits.....

Anyway, theres this new commercial going around advertising some kind of new and improved birth control thing. So they talk about how great it is for a few seconds then go into thier list of warnings: "May cause bloodclots...blahblahblah...should not used by women who are nursing, pregnant, or may become pregnant..."

...... well that last line is pretty typical for the various warning these commercials have but...seriously? Isn't that kind of what birth control is supposed to prevent? Though I guess if a woman gets pregnant while using their new and improved birth control, they wouldn't be wanting to use it for very much longer longer anyway...

The other funny incident involves instructions on a popcorn bag. Ok, so the bag was folded up and sealed with a plastic cover. So naturally I removed it and unfolded the bag to read the instructions. The first thing on the list: 1) Remove plastic cover...Yeah, thanks for telling me. Remember, you couldn't even see the instructions until you removed the plastic.

*Shakes head* Sometimes Americans baffle me.

How Old Am I Again?

Now, I always knew I was short, but I had always thought it was pretty clear I was older than a 10 year old. Or so I thought until I came to America. Me and my family go out to eat a lot what with living in a hotel and all, and recently I've been asked a lot whether or not I would like one of those menus that come with crayons so that you can color them. Tonight was the 3rd night in a row ... maybe I'm just not dressing my age, or maybe I look like the artsy type, but I still thought people would be able to guess, that that kinda stuff isnt really my thing anymore. Though I suppose I should be flattered that they think I don't look that old. Maybe when I get even older I won't need to worry about wrinkles. O.O That does seem to brighten my future.

But know the funniest part? Is that almost everytime I turn down the crayon menu, I immediatly become an adult. After that they always call me "Miss". One waiter ever called me "Ma'am". Oh dear. Whatever happened to being a teenager? Or has America changed so much in my ten year absence that those years just became nonexistant? What a terrifying thought.

Honors: It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time

So you're probably wondering where the heck I've been the past week. I need to get better at saying when I'm going to be out for a while, but I'm a teenager! Part of my job is to be forgetful and irresponsible. What's the other half? School ... the first one was more fun. So the reason I've been MIA the past week is because of Honors. What in the world possesed me to sign up for Honors? School hasn't even started yet and they've already put me to work! So a few weeks ago I was given the summer assignments for English and Pre-Calculus in my new school. I would have gotten them sooner but see I was in Europe when they were first handed out. I was suppossed to have all summer to do them. I had about three weeks. For English I needed to read two books, write two papers, as well as several charts and diagrams. They're hard enough. Then I have to do a couple pages of review for Pre-Calc, and then some Intro-Pre-Calc.

Joy. (notice how that was sarcastic)

So now I guess I'm stuck trying to finish several assignment I was supposed to have months to finish in weeks. Mind you, I all this is due on the first day of school and my English assignment counts for 10% of my first marking grade. And I haven't even met the teacher!

(Yes I'm venting. This really has nothing to do with coming to the USA and being bombarded with freaky cultural differences, but I'm a bit frustrated.)

Ok well, I should probably get back to work on them. School was easier in elementary school. Anyone else noticed that?

The Roads Are Too Smooth

That's right folks. I said it. I didn't misspell any words (though that might be a believable situation). I really meant what the title said. American roads are too smooth.

Yeah, when you go to Poland, you have to complain about the roads. Bumpy, cracked, uneven, pothole ridden, and even dented down on either side from the weight of the cars. I really thought that that would be the one thing about Poland I wouldn't miss. Fact is...I do. I don't know, just something about the roads back Poland have something that American roads don't. And I don't mean, thier bumpy-ness.

Side Note: I figured out a way to get pictures onto the blog, without having a camera. Google! yeah, its probably illegal to post pictures from someone else's website, but anway. If these are your pictures, just tell and I'll give you credit, or take them down, which ever... please don't make me take them down. My blog is so boring without pictures =}

Poland roads. They don't look very inviting. They look dangerous.

And American Roads. They look nice, friendly and inviting.

But I like Polish roads. Maybe I am insane after all, or maybe I'm just not ready to let go of Poland, but I like Poland roads better. It's difficult to explain. I think it's because all those cracks gave the roads character. You never really know what you were going to get. And yes, given, what you usually got was a big jolt. But American roads are so boring...so predictable.

Yeah, I think I am crazy after all. Darn it. But I actually have a real reason why I think Poland roads are better: They have more traction! Yep, all those little bumps and cracks make it easier to grip the road. So it a rain storm (which face it we have a lot in Poland) Its actually safer than the slick American roads. So American roads may seem less dangerous, until the rain comes! Or snow. Maybe thats why Americans get snow days with two inches of snow. My school in Poland hasn't had a snow day in 14 years I believe. I think I may be onto something here...

You're Not in Poland Anymore!

So this post sort of relates back to my Everyone Speaks English post last month. Only that was about how everyone around me, well, speaks English. This is about how I seem to speak Polish. Now, I'll admit, I don't actually speak Polish, but after six years I've of course had to memorize some basic words and key frases. And it's become so much of a reflex for me to use them...well, let's just say I've been getting some looks along the lines of "Well there's a Crazy".

Here's a replay of a typical Polish-speaking situation that I got myself into yesterday: Ok, so I walk up to a McDonalds, and since really I've only been to Polish McDonalds' I've of course memorized my order in Polish. So I walk up there, not bothering to look at menu (which was ofcourse English and what should have tipped me off) and I say very smoothly (and forgive me, any Polish speakers who read this, I don't actually know how to spell these words): "Moła frytki i szec McNugget prosze." ... Then I'm like, "Oh wait, darn it, not again." At this point is generally when I get "The Look". So I start stuttering about how I'm used to speaking Polish, and that I forget I'm in America now (Yeah, real smooth Anna, real smooth). Then I hear customers behind me clearing thier throats, and then I duck my head and mutter my English order.

I've lost count of how many times I've bumped into someone and said "Pszeprasam" (Excuse me) or when someone has held the door open for me I've said "Dzienkuje" (Thank you). Or I've held open the door and said "Prosze".

You know, you'd think that it wouldn't be that difficult to get rid of all those automatic reflexes, but, six years is a long time. I wouldn't be surprised if it takes me that long to get over them. But until then I'm going to get a lot more "The Look"s. I guess its too bad I don't live in Chicago.